Screenwriting

OPEN ON BLACK SCREEN
STEPHANIE (V.O.)
So far, everything I know about boys can be summed up in one simple rule.
FADE IN:
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
A glamorous-looking eighteen year old girl, LUCIA, is slowly taking her shirt OFF. She is wearing a sheer black bra and panty set over her lean, curvy body. She pauses for a moment, posing.
STEPHANIE (V.O.)
Boys like Lucia.
LUCIA
is guzzling Olympia beer from a can. SLOW MOTION of beer spilling out of her mouth and down her chest.
STEPHANIE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
And I don’t think it’s because of her razor sharp mind.
Watching her from a cross-legged position on the floor is STEPHANIE, also 18. She’s got short dark hair that curls just under her ears, and oversized, darkly lashed eyes. She’s wearing panties and a lace-backed shirt.
STEPHANIE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
I’m the other girl.
STEPHANIE
watches TYLER, 18, a heavy-lidded, longish-haired babe, watching LUCIA.
Also present is STEVE, 18, a hunky blond.
LUCIA
Starts a long and loud BELCH of the alphabet.  She gets to F, giggles and sits back down. The boys are loving it.
STEPHANIE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
All that stuff they tell you about how, if you’re a girl, it’s more important to be smart or witty or interesting or mature, when in actual fact–at least in high school–it’s just much better to be Lucia.
The four of them sit in a close circle with playing cards thrown in the middle and empties strewn around.
TYLER deals the cards.
STEPHANIE (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Okay, let me admit this right off.  I’ve been crushed out on, or way into, or, just plain old in love with Tyler Smith for like twelve years.  Look at him.  He’s just that kind of amazing, athletic, good-looking, cool guy that you can’t help but fall for.  I, on the other hand, fall more into the geeky, awkward camp.  Examples: I’m taking advanced Physics at the local college and I’ve applied to M.I.T.  Also, I’m still a virgin. I mean, it’s not that embarrassing, and it’s not like I don’t want to do it.  But, my best friend Anne and I decided to wait until prom night, even thought it’s a little cliche, I know.  But we’ll have this really romantic evening, with two perfect guys, Tyler being mine of course, and we’ll do it then.   That way, we will have had at least one perfect high school moment.
STEVE
Steph,
(clapping his hands clapper-like)
shirt off.
Stephanie looks a little like a deer in the headlights-big eyes-she doesn’t move a muscle.
LUCIA
(whining)
Ty, you go.
TYLER
throws his cards down, smiles and takes his shirt off, revealing the beautiful, muscled torso of a swimmer.
Tyler smiles his perfect smile at Steph, but she hesitates.
STEVE
Yo, Steph, what’s up with you?
LUCIA
She’s not wearing a bra.
STEPHANIE
Lucia!
This gets the boy’s attention.
LUCIA
See, the shirt Steph’s wearing is mine and you can’t wear a bra with it, and Steph didn’t really want to even wear it, but the girl’s got no real fashion sense and her boobs are, like, small enough so that she can actually go braless which you know, I could never really do.
Stephanie’s mortified. Lucia gets up and goes over to Tyler. She throws herself on him, knocking him to the ground. She pins his arms above his head.
LUCIA (CONT’D)
I’m bored.
(flirty)
I think you should have to take off two things, you know, ’cause you lost with two pair.  You know, two pair, two things?
LUCIA’S and TYLER’S FACES
hover dangerously close to each other, before Lucia pulls back.
Steve looks at Stephanie.
STEVE
(harsh)
Take off your shirt!
Still frozen, Stephanie looks at him in horror.
STEVE (CONT’D)
(continuing; angry)
So typical, dude.
Steve puts back on his shirt.
STEVE (CONT’D)
How come I always get stuck with the virgin?
TITLE CARD – CHERRY
INT. ANNE’S BEDROOM – NEXT DAY
A big room painted pale pink with a canopy bed in the center, a pink reclining chair, and a pale pink rug. The walls are filled with framed photographs of friends and family, and there is general girl clutter around the room.
Stephanie is pacing. ANNE, 18–a plain face but a very voluptuous body and much natural charm–is unpacking her suitcase.
ANNE
That sounds pretty bad.
STEPHANIE
And Tyler was right there. Steve is such a jerk. What was I thinking?!  I’m telling you, alcohol and boys don’t mix. I need to have my wits about me.
ANNE
You’re not tiny.
STEPHANIE
And then there’s Lucia who can’t stop throwing herself at Tyler right in front of me.
Anne starts to fold her clothes and put them away.
ANNE
Was it worse than when Dave pantsed you in gym in forth grade?
FLASHBACK:
A 9 YEAR OLD STEPHANIE is limbo-ing under a bar held by two classmates in gym class when a boy yanks her shorts down leaving her trapped in a back bent position with her big white floral print underwear revealed.
ANNE (O.S.)(CONT’D)
What about all of eighth grade when you had to wear headgear to school?
A badly dressed, 13 YEAR OLD STEPHANIE walks down a dimly lit school hallway. In her mouth is some kind of BARBARIC HEADGEAR.
As she walks down the hall, classroom doors slam one after the next.  Alone at the end of the hall, she looks miserably into the camera.  A distant SCREAM is heard.
ANNE (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Or what about the time…
Capital High School gymnasium packed with students.  A marching band plays, a drill team does their dance.  A 14 YEAR OLD STEPHANIE creeps into the gym with a massive white- head covering one whole cheek.
ANNE (O.S.) (CONT’D)
…when you had to go to freshman orientation with that gigantic, pus-filled zit.
The gym goes completely silent, and everyone turns to stare at her.
END FLASHBACK.  BACK TO PRESENT.
STEPHANIE
I know what you’re trying to do, but a chronology of my most humiliating moments isn’t really helping.
Although she cracks a smile.
From the pile of clothes Anne is carrying drops a pair of boxers.
STEPHANIE (CONT’D)
What are those?
Anne quickly picks them up.
ANNE
These?  Nothing.  I mean, well, boxers.
STEPHANIE
Don’t even bother trying to pretend you’re not hiding something. I’ve known from the minute I walked in here.
Anne smiles nervously.
ANNE
I’ve been trying to figure out a way to tell you. I don’t think you’re going to like it very much.
STEPHANIE
(sarcastic)
Great.
ANNE
I met this guy Joey. He was really cool; he goes to State.  He was in Sun Valley with friends for spring break and… we had sex.
Without a word, Stephanie gets up and goes to Anne’s computer.  She types something in.
INSERT – GREGOR’S WEB PAGE, a homepage filled with text and photos and gossip about Capital High School.
ANNE (CONT’D)
What are you doing?
STEPHANIE
I’m checking Gregor’s web site.  I want to see if my small boobs are mentioned.
ANNE
Are you mad?
STEPHANIE
Nope.
ANNE
No, you’re not mad, or no, there’s no mention of your boobs?
STEPHANIE
(reading)
Ben Griffith.  He was in our first grade wasn’t he.  I vaguely remember him.  I think.  He got kicked out of Charles Wright, and he’s finishing up at Capital.
ANNE
Steph, don’t be mad.
Steph turns around.
STEPHANIE
I’m not mad, it’s just, there was a plan, and I like plans, and so now I’ll adjust to the new world order global economy, in which I am the only senior girl virgin left at Capital.
ANNE
You are not.
Stephanie reads more in silence.  She turns to face Anne.
STEPHANIE
How was it?
ANNE
It was amazing.
STEPHANIE
Wow, that’s pretty cool.
ANNE
Yeah.  Pretty cool.  Anyway, you’re next.
STEPHANIE
Yeah, right.
INT. NAIL SALON – DAY
Stephanie sits next to MRS. LOWEN, her mother.  Mrs. Lowen is in her middle 50’s.  She has the mellow but disheveled look of an aging hippy. She wears several pins on her shirt.  Some have  pictures of Tigers. One reads “Aid WildAid.”  Another says, “Tigers in Crisis!”  They are each having their nails done by a Vietnamese manicurist.
MRS. LOWEN
You know, dear, we’re so proud of you and all your accomplishments, but it came to me today, you haven’t asked me any questions about sex.
STEPHANIE
(Indicating the manicurists)
Mom!
MRS. LOWEN
Of course, we know you’re not a virgin anymore.
STEPHANIE
I have no questions.  Let’s just drop it, okay?
MRS. LOWEN
You don’t think of your father and me as sexual beings–
STEPHANIE
Mom!
MRS. LOWEN
But it might interest you to know that we’ve got quite an active sex life.
STEPHANIE
Good God.
MRS. LOWEN
We’re always learning, we’re always trying new things and we’re always continuing to expand our horizons.
Stephanie slinks down, mortified
MRS. LOWEN (CONT’D)
Trust me, there’s nothing I haven’t heard of, and not much I haven’t tried. Male issues, masturbation, orgasms, Kama Sutra positions, or even chin tao mana dog.
STEPHANIE
(Whispering)
Can we please talk about this some other time?  In some other place.
MRS. LOWEN
When your father and I traveled through Tibet, we were schooled in the ancient art of–
Steph stands up.
STEPHANIE
Okay, Mom, we’re going now!
MRS. LOWEN
–Hadaruuganaga.
Off Stephanie’s mortified expression, we:
Follow a football soaring against a gray sky.  It lands in the hands of a football player and a scrimmage begins.   Pull back to:
EXT. CAPITAL HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
A large sprawling structure on a small hill. At the bottom of the hill is a large parking lot next to the football field.  A sign reads: Go Cougars.
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
Steph and Anne sit next to each other.
ANNE
Did you know that Ray knows Ben Griffith?  Apparently they’ve been playing on the state’s soccer team since forever.
STEPHANIE
No I didn’t know that scintillating fact.  Did you know that yesterday my Mom offered to teach me some ancient Chinese sex position she and my father use.
ANNE
Yikes.
Bell rings.  Class settles.  A moment later, the PRINCIPAL and BEN GRIFFITH, enter.  Ben, 18, is tall and lanky with floppy dark hair hiding his face.  We can read attitude in his posture:  he couldn’t care less, although, he is hip.
He’s got a wide leather strap tied around each wrist and a cool tee-shirt over a longer sleeve one paired with perfectly dark, yet worn jeans.
PRINCIPAL
Class, this is Ben Griffith. He’s here to finish up the year with us.
Principal leaves and Ben skulks over to an empty seat as the class watch.
Just before he sits, he makes a strange martial art hand gesture, and a martial arts sound directed at the guy in front of him.
BEN
Cwhaaaaaaaaa.
KID
(approvingly)
Dude.
The room goes dark. At the front of the room a TV turns on and the school’s news show, Capital News Service (CNS) begins.
INSERT – TV SCREEN
CHERYL and BRIAN, 18, two blond perky kids are sitting at a large school desk.  They talk in newscaster voices.
CHERYL
Good morning, Brian.
BRIAN
Good morning, Cheryl.
CHERYL
Only forty-five days until prom, Brian.
BRIAN
That’s right, Cheryl and only fifty-two to graduation.
CHERYL
So Brian, where are you going to college?
BRIAN
Well, Cheryl, I’ve posted it on the board in the main lobby. You can see where me and all the other seniors are going after we graduate.
CHERYL
What a great idea!
STEPHANIE (V.O.)
Rumor has it these two lost their virginity to each other on the table they’re sitting at right now. I bet they taped it.
CHERYL AND BRIAN
having sex on the table.
BRIAN
It was a big win last night for the Capital Cougars, Cheryl.
CHERYL
(in between moans)
That’s great news Brian!
BRIAN

And don’t forget: only two weeks left to turn in your prom court nominations!

“It is a rule with all comedies involving virginity, going back to Doris Day and long before, that enormous misunderstandings are involved and virginity miraculously survives at the end.”

–Roger Ebert

CHERRY

OPEN ON BLACK SCREEN

STEPHANIE (V.O.)

So far, everything I know about boys can be summed up in one simple rule.

FADE IN:

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

A glamorous-looking eighteen year old girl, LUCIA, is slowly taking her shirt OFF. She is wearing a sheer black bra and panty set over her lean, curvy body. She pauses for a moment, posing.

STEPHANIE (V.O.)

Boys like Lucia.

LUCIA

is guzzling Olympia beer from a can. SLOW MOTION of beer spilling out of her mouth and down her chest.

STEPHANIE (V.O.) (CONT’D)

And I don’t think it’s because of her razor sharp mind.

Watching her from a cross-legged position on the floor is STEPHANIE, also 18. She’s got short dark hair that curls just under her ears, and oversized, darkly lashed eyes. She’s wearing panties and a lace-backed shirt.

STEPHANIE (V.O.) (CONT’D)

I’m the other girl.

STEPHANIE

watches TYLER, 18, a heavy-lidded, longish-haired babe, watching LUCIA.

Also present is STEVE, 18, a hunky blond.

LUCIA

Starts a long and loud BELCH of the alphabet.  She gets to F, giggles and sits back down. The boys are loving it.

STEPHANIE (V.O.) (CONT’D)

All that stuff they tell you about how, if you’re a girl, it’s more important to be smart or witty or interesting or mature, when in actual fact–at least in high school–it’s just much better to be Lucia.

The four of them sit in a close circle with playing cards thrown in the middle and empties strewn around.

TYLER deals the cards.

STEPHANIE (V.O.) (CONT’D)

Okay, let me admit this right off.  I’ve been crushed out on, or way into, or, just plain old in love with Tyler Smith for like twelve years.  Look at him.  He’s just that kind of amazing, athletic, good-looking, cool guy that you can’t help but fall for.  I, on the other hand, fall more into the geeky, awkward camp.  Examples: I’m taking advanced Physics at the local college and I’ve applied to M.I.T.  Also, I’m still a virgin. I mean, it’s not that embarrassing, and it’s not like I don’t want to do it.  But, my best friend Anne and I decided to wait until prom night, even thought it’s a little cliche, I know.  But we’ll have this really romantic evening, with two perfect guys, Tyler being mine of course, and we’ll do it then.   That way, we will have had at least one perfect high school moment.

STEVE

Steph,

(clapping his hands clapper-like)

shirt off.

Stephanie looks a little like a deer in the headlights-big eyes-she doesn’t move a muscle.

LUCIA

(whining)

Ty, you go.

TYLER

throws his cards down, smiles and takes his shirt off, revealing the beautiful, muscled torso of a swimmer.

Tyler smiles his perfect smile at Steph, but she hesitates.

STEVE

Yo, Steph, what’s up with you?

LUCIA

She’s not wearing a bra.

STEPHANIE

Lucia!

This gets the boy’s attention.

LUCIA

See, the shirt Steph’s wearing is mine and you can’t wear a bra with it, and Steph didn’t really want to even wear it, but the girl’s got no real fashion sense and her boobs are, like, small enough so that she can actually go braless which you know, I could never really do.

Stephanie’s mortified. Lucia gets up and goes over to Tyler. She throws herself on him, knocking him to the ground. She pins his arms above his head.

LUCIA (CONT’D)

I’m bored.

(flirty)

I think you should have to take off two things, you know, ’cause you lost with two pair.  You know, two pair, two things?

LUCIA’S and TYLER’S FACES

hover dangerously close to each other, before Lucia pulls back.

Steve looks at Stephanie.

STEVE

(harsh)

Take off your shirt!

Still frozen, Stephanie looks at him in horror.

STEVE (CONT’D)

(continuing; angry)

So typical, dude.

Steve puts back on his shirt.

STEVE (CONT’D)

How come I always get stuck with the virgin?

TITLE CARD – CHERRY

INT. ANNE’S BEDROOM – NEXT DAY

A big room painted pale pink with a canopy bed in the center, a pink reclining chair, and a pale pink rug. The walls are filled with framed photographs of friends and family, and there is general girl clutter around the room.

Stephanie is pacing. ANNE, 18–a plain face but a very voluptuous body and much natural charm–is unpacking her suitcase.

ANNE

That sounds pretty bad.

STEPHANIE

And Tyler was right there. Steve is such a jerk. What was I thinking?!  I’m telling you, alcohol and boys don’t mix. I need to have my wits about me.

ANNE

You’re not tiny.

STEPHANIE

And then there’s Lucia who can’t stop throwing herself at Tyler right in front of me.

Anne starts to fold her clothes and put them away.

ANNE

Was it worse than when Dave pantsed you in gym in forth grade?

FLASHBACK:

A 9 YEAR OLD STEPHANIE is limbo-ing under a bar held by two classmates in gym class when a boy yanks her shorts down leaving her trapped in a back bent position with her big white floral print underwear revealed.

ANNE (O.S.)(CONT’D)

What about all of eighth grade when you had to wear headgear to school?

A badly dressed, 13 YEAR OLD STEPHANIE walks down a dimly lit school hallway. In her mouth is some kind of BARBARIC HEADGEAR.

As she walks down the hall, classroom doors slam one after the next.  Alone at the end of the hall, she looks miserably into the camera.  A distant SCREAM is heard.

ANNE (O.S.) (CONT’D)

Or what about the time…

Capital High School gymnasium packed with students.  A marching band plays, a drill team does their dance.  A 14 YEAR OLD STEPHANIE creeps into the gym with a massive white- head covering one whole cheek.

ANNE (O.S.) (CONT’D)

…when you had to go to freshman orientation with that gigantic, pus-filled zit.

The gym goes completely silent, and everyone turns to stare at her.

END FLASHBACK.  BACK TO PRESENT.

STEPHANIE

I know what you’re trying to do, but a chronology of my most humiliating moments isn’t really helping.

Although she cracks a smile.

From the pile of clothes Anne is carrying drops a pair of boxers.

STEPHANIE (CONT’D)

What are those?

Anne quickly picks them up.

ANNE

These?  Nothing.  I mean, well, boxers.

STEPHANIE

Don’t even bother trying to pretend you’re not hiding something. I’ve known from the minute I walked in here.

Anne smiles nervously.

ANNE

I’ve been trying to figure out a way to tell you. I don’t think you’re going to like it very much.

STEPHANIE

(sarcastic)

Great.

ANNE

I met this guy Joey. He was really cool; he goes to State.  He was in Sun Valley with friends for spring break and… we had sex.

Without a word, Stephanie gets up and goes to Anne’s computer.  She types something in.

INSERT – GREGOR’S WEB PAGE, a homepage filled with text and photos and gossip about Capital High School.

ANNE (CONT’D)

What are you doing?

STEPHANIE

I’m checking Gregor’s web site.  I want to see if my small boobs are mentioned.

ANNE

Are you mad?

STEPHANIE

Nope.

ANNE

No, you’re not mad, or no, there’s no mention of your boobs?

STEPHANIE

(reading)

Ben Griffith.  He was in our first grade wasn’t he.  I vaguely remember him.  I think.  He got kicked out of Charles Wright, and he’s finishing up at Capital.

ANNE

Steph, don’t be mad.

Steph turns around.

STEPHANIE

I’m not mad, it’s just, there was a plan, and I like plans, and so now I’ll adjust to the new world order global economy, in which I am the only senior girl virgin left at Capital.

ANNE

You are not.

Stephanie reads more in silence.  She turns to face Anne.

STEPHANIE

How was it?

ANNE

It was amazing.

STEPHANIE

Wow, that’s pretty cool.

ANNE

Yeah.  Pretty cool.  Anyway, you’re next.

STEPHANIE

Yeah, right.

INT. NAIL SALON – DAY

Stephanie sits next to MRS. LOWEN, her mother.  Mrs. Lowen is in her middle 50’s.  She has the mellow but disheveled look of an aging hippy. She wears several pins on her shirt.  Some have  pictures of Tigers. One reads “Aid WildAid.”  Another says, “Tigers in Crisis!”  They are each having their nails done by a Vietnamese manicurist.

MRS. LOWEN

You know, dear, we’re so proud of you and all your accomplishments, but it came to me today, you haven’t asked me any questions about sex.

STEPHANIE

(Indicating the manicurists)

Mom!

MRS. LOWEN

Of course, we know you’re not a virgin anymore.

STEPHANIE

I have no questions.  Let’s just drop it, okay?

MRS. LOWEN

You don’t think of your father and me as sexual beings–

STEPHANIE

Mom!

MRS. LOWEN

But it might interest you to know that we’ve got quite an active sex life.

STEPHANIE

Good God.

MRS. LOWEN

We’re always learning, we’re always trying new things and we’re always continuing to expand our horizons.

Stephanie slinks down, mortified

MRS. LOWEN (CONT’D)

Trust me, there’s nothing I haven’t heard of, and not much I haven’t tried. Male issues, masturbation, orgasms, Kama Sutra positions, or even chin tao mana dog.

STEPHANIE

(Whispering)

Can we please talk about this some other time?  In some other place.

MRS. LOWEN

When your father and I traveled through Tibet, we were schooled in the ancient art of–

Steph stands up.

STEPHANIE

Okay, Mom, we’re going now!

MRS. LOWEN

–Hadaruuganaga.

Off Stephanie’s mortified expression, we:

Follow a football soaring against a gray sky.  It lands in the hands of a football player and a scrimmage begins.   Pull back to:

EXT. CAPITAL HIGH SCHOOL – DAY

A large sprawling structure on a small hill. At the bottom of the hill is a large parking lot next to the football field.  A sign reads: Go Cougars.

INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

Steph and Anne sit next to each other.

ANNE

Did you know that Ray knows Ben Griffith?  Apparently they’ve been playing on the state’s soccer team since forever.

STEPHANIE

No I didn’t know that scintillating fact.  Did you know that yesterday my Mom offered to teach me some ancient Chinese sex position she and my father use.

ANNE

Yikes.

Bell rings.  Class settles.  A moment later, the PRINCIPAL and BEN GRIFFITH, enter.  Ben, 18, is tall and lanky with floppy dark hair hiding his face.  We can read attitude in his posture:  he couldn’t care less, although, he is hip.

He’s got a wide leather strap tied around each wrist and a cool tee-shirt over a longer sleeve one paired with perfectly dark, yet worn jeans.

PRINCIPAL

Class, this is Ben Griffith. He’s here to finish up the year with us.

Principal leaves and Ben skulks over to an empty seat as the class watch.

Just before he sits, he makes a strange martial art hand gesture, and a martial arts sound directed at the guy in front of him.

BEN

Cwhaaaaaaaaa.

KID

(approvingly)

Dude.

The room goes dark. At the front of the room a TV turns on and the school’s news show, Capital News Service (CNS) begins.

INSERT – TV SCREEN

CHERYL and BRIAN, 18, two blond perky kids are sitting at a large school desk.  They talk in newscaster voices.

CHERYL

Good morning, Brian.

BRIAN

Good morning, Cheryl.

CHERYL

Only forty-five days until prom, Brian.

BRIAN

That’s right, Cheryl and only fifty-two to graduation.

CHERYL

So Brian, where are you going to college?

BRIAN

Well, Cheryl, I’ve posted it on the board in the main lobby. You can see where me and all the other seniors are going after we graduate.

CHERYL

What a great idea!

STEPHANIE (V.O.)

Rumor has it these two lost their virginity to each other on the table they’re sitting at right now. I bet they taped it.

CHERYL AND BRIAN

having sex on the table.

BRIAN

It was a big win last night for the Capital Cougars, Cheryl.

CHERYL

(in between moans)

That’s great news Brian!

BRIAN

And don’t forget: only two weeks left to turn in your prom court nominations!

… (read the rest, available on request)

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